Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
