ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
