STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
