therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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