my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
