We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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