well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
