So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
