He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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