she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
