I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
