I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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