They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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