You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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