He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
