His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
