I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
