what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
