why didn't you poke me back
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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