Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
