I wish i was in the wii world.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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