I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
