I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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