Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
