i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
