I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
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Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're a waste of cheezeits
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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