Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so let's talk penis.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I smell like Dick and happiness
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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