Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
