so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
