the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
