Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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