Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
