you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Hippo gnu deer
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
