Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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