im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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