I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
