whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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