shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
