I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
