As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
