I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
