Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
