Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
