At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
