What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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