tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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