dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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