Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's the barista slut.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
