Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
