Will you blow on my dice?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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