I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
