Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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