her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
