So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
