Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont even know how to be here
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
