i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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