So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
