Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
