I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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