I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
