I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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