My nipple is on Facebook.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
